"Start Here" -v- "Preface"

The end of "The End." Please Stand by....

"Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby Paul S. » Fri Jun 13, 2008 5:39 pm

In a post from Sunday:

viewtopic.php?p=15412#p15412

Mark Culpepper wrote:And though it is really none of my business , while I am at it I just have to log being just a tad uncomfortable with the phrase...................

"Defying Gravity is a biographical mystery that ponders the question “how come nobody has ever heard of T. Townsend Brown?”

Now, after you have finished the book with such a wonderful style, would you mind reading that section above again? Is that really the style that you want to use to introduce your wonderful work?


Now that I'm digging into the text again, red pen in hand, I've re-read the Preface, and I wonder if perhaps that "chapter" would not serve better in place of the "one sheet" that is presently linked to the "Start Here" link on the front page.

I could also link it to the "Yes Virginia..." page that now shows up instead of the chapters (with a link at the end right back to... "Yes, Virginia...<g>).

I trust you all have (or will soon have) your own copies of the chapters, so I'm curious what you think of the Preface. Does it work for you? Does it draw you in, make you want to know more? Does it serve to adequately set up the whole "Rabbit Hole" metaphor.

I've got an idea: why not print out just the Preface and show it to a few friends over the weekend? See if they put it down wanting to know more. I'm going to a barbecue Saturday night... I think I'll take my own advice.

--PS
Paul Schatzkin
aka "The Perfesser"
"At some point we have to deal with the facts, not what we want to believe is true." -- Jack Bauer
Paul S.
Sr. Rabbit Chaser
 
Posts: 1362
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 1:11 pm
Location: Psych Ward

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby Mark Culpepper » Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:36 pm

Great weekend assignment! Good, bad or indifferent ... you will have my chapter report on Monday morning! MarkC
Mark Culpepper
The Dean
 
Posts: 655
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2006 6:02 am

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby Victoria Steele » Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:55 pm

So what has happened Mark? I have been waiting for your review. Sort of a " you go first", no please ... you go. So since you have been delayed.

I have read that Preface over and over and over and a couple of questions came to my mind.

Andrew? I wondered why it was that you took so long to answer? Were you just busy or did you not think that this writer was serious? How many other people had tried to contact the family through you I wonder? So did Linda ignore all of the rest of them? Or did they even get through? I don't know you very well Andrew so please forgive me for saying this but it did strike me that perhaps you had your own personal reasons for keeping the world at bay regarding the work of Townsend Brown? Could I be right about that? Wouldn't blame you but searching here for the reason for such a delay.

And knowing a little bit about how Linda Brown maintains her privacy I wondered why it was that somehow you yourself were able to get to know the family and get access to the material.

Its a wonderful thing that all that happened because if it hadn't been for your earlier " Soteria" site we ( most of us) would not have even remembered the name Townsend Brown. You told Paul with his first ( or nearly first) interview that you met the family by " chance" but do you still believe that? I am curious about your answer because I am totally convinced by now that none of this has been " by chance". And Andrew, do you still represent " the family" as far as the technology is concerned? Is that an exclusive arrangement? A business arrangement? Or just a matter of friendship? Did Morgan contact you as well as Paul and maybe are some of the things you are doing now some sort of reflection of that interaction?

And Paul, I agree with Mark. I don't much like that sentence " How come nobody has heard of T. Townsend Brown." In the first place .... I am not "nobody" and I had heard of him! <g> And looking at it again during the first sentences of introduction to the man maybe it would be best to use his whole name?

And the reference to the Philpott quote ..... its almost as if you have to stop reading and go look for it if you hadn't paid attention to it from the start ... so that reference to it is just a little strange somehow without anything immediately to link to. If readers are as lazy as I sometimes am it not make alot of sense to them if they have to go looking for that quote.

And that long section about the points of the story skipping across the pond . That just doesn't sound like the writer that you are now. Somehow it just comes across as ... I dunno... long and wandering? I like the visual though.

And for the rest of you out there. I have to tell you that all this technical stuff is really fascinating but I personally am longing to get back to the personal relationships between Dr. Brown and his family and of course Linda and Morgan. I told you a long time ago that I loved the science and I love watching you guys trade ideas but I miss the romance! And alot of us out there could care nada about all this technical stuff. I wanna talk about the kid with the chestnut hair and warm Florida evenings. And though you have talked about Morgan alot through your interactions with him you really haven't been very descriptive toward Linda. I guess thats supposed to be left for your readers imagination but I still would like to get to know her better. Josephine too!

Sending this with all my personal best wishes. Victoria
Victoria Steele
Mysterious Redhead
 
Posts: 932
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2006 7:06 am

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby Chris Knight » Thu Jun 19, 2008 4:50 am

Victoria,

I have to admit, I can be a bit slow to respond when I'm mulling things over. Various people had come around before Paul contacted me, but I think Paul was the first author I'd really forwarded to Linda. She and I talked it over, and felt that Paul was a good candidate based on the connection between Farnsworth's work (the fusor) and her father's work.

Also, I have never just "given out" things - he had to put in the "good faith" effort. No one prior to him seriously wanted to put in the time and effort that would be required, and since then either, I might add. Although, Paul may have been a bit surprised at the actual amount of time and energy that it has taken to wrest this story into reality. In any case, opportunities are presented, but what a person makes of those opportunities is entirely up to them.

As far as personal reasons for keeping the world at bay regarding the work of Townsend Brown, yes, I certainly did. Linda (and her family) have been friends of mine for many years. They prefered solitude while still wishing to keep Townsend's name from being forgotten. I considered myself a brick firewall to keep absolutely everyone at bay unless they had a really good reason to be in contact with them. My family and friends are very important to me.

Things are a bit different now with the book, but Paul and I still play that part, as various people come nosing around for information, and I am still as suspicious to people's motives as ever. If, at some point, Linda decides to go public, then that is her decision.

Out of the numerous letters the Brown's recieved over the years, it was Josephine Brown who picked up my letter and encouraged Linda Brown to contact me. I suppose you are right that nothing really happens by chance. After that, Linda (and family) and I just got along great. We all have a lot of fun when we get together.

As far as representing "the family" as far as the technology is concerned, yes, in the public domain, I do, as a matter of friendship, and also to pursue my own interests. I personally pursue, and direct, research under Qualight Environmental.
Andrew
Qualight Environmental
(http://www.qualight.com, http://www.qualightenv.com, http://www.qualightscp.com)

"If you think the situation is under control, then you don't truly understand the situation."
Chris Knight
Keeper of the Flame
 
Posts: 465
Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2003 5:35 am
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby Paul S. » Thu Jun 19, 2008 11:53 am

Victoria Steele wrote: And Paul, I agree with Mark. I don't much like that sentence " How come nobody has heard of T. Townsend Brown." In the first place .... I am not "nobody" and I had heard of him! <g> And looking at it again during the first sentences of introduction to the man maybe it would be best to use his whole name?


That sentence was in the "One Sheet," which I have now replaced with a slightly revised version of the Preface.

I had a pretty good response to the Preface over the weekend. I was a a party populated with a variety of writers of different stripes, and I asked a couple of them to read the (unedited, unexpurgated) version. I left the readers inside the house and went out on the deck to join the host at his Weber grill, and a few minutes later one of the readers came flying out to the deck waving the papers in her hand and shouting, "Brilliant! I want the next chapter!" So I figure it'll work as a teaser on the website.


And the reference to the Philpott quote ..... its almost as if you have to stop reading and go look for it if you hadn't paid attention to it from the start ... so that reference to it is just a little strange somehow without anything immediately to link to. If readers are as lazy as I sometimes am it not make alot of sense to them if they have to go looking for that quote.


Point taken, ideally I'd put the quote at the top of the Preface, but "Alice" is already there...


And that long section about the points of the story skipping across the pond . That just doesn't sound like the writer that you are now. Somehow it just comes across as ... I dunno... long and wandering? I like the visual though.


The fine tradition of the writer's favorite stuff winding up in the trash? Possibly. But I'm leaving it there until somebody pries it away from me.

--PS
Paul Schatzkin
aka "The Perfesser"
"At some point we have to deal with the facts, not what we want to believe is true." -- Jack Bauer
Paul S.
Sr. Rabbit Chaser
 
Posts: 1362
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 1:11 pm
Location: Psych Ward

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby Mark Culpepper » Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:42 pm

I had a long list, I thought of things that I wanted to ask and say but I see that Victoria has sort of beaten me to the punch here.

I tend to be overly enthusiastic in your direction Paul. I should admit it right now because my initial response is to join that other person with the " Brilliant" remark! And she hasn't even gotten to the REALLY good stuff yet.

If you like that skipping stone over the misty pond bit by all means hang on to it with a death grip.

I personally liked the phrase that you have not introduced yet ... the bit about him " securing a place for himself.... paraphrasing ..... on the edge .......???? went out of my head. Thought I had it memorized. Pure poetry guy.

Been away but got your last PM. Thanks for that. MarkC
Mark Culpepper
The Dean
 
Posts: 655
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2006 6:02 am

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby Rose » Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:53 pm

Paul, you shouldn't be surprised about the response over the weekend. As i've told you, before, you've done a wonderful job, both on the investigative side and on weaving a fascinating tapestry of a story. So, with all those writers around, did you get any volunteers for your "crit group?"'

Also after rereading the preface again, I see Victoria's point about the Phillpott reference. For me, the quotes authors put at the beginning of volumes and chapters are like cotton candy; sweet mouthfuls that are gone from my consciousness as soon as i swallow them. Unless one of them is integral to the story itself, asking me to think about it again distracts me from the story YOU are telling.

Also, about the skipping stones...using this metaphor on page one may not be the best way to hook really indecisive readers into the book. When they read that the story points disappear into a mist, they are likely to have two reactions:

1."Story points"? Must be some writerly term, cause I've never heard that before."

and

2. "OMG! 600 pages, with no resolution at the end of it? No way am I going to read this!"

But it sounds like you really love this section. Maybe instead of giving it up, you could shuffle a version of it into the epilogue?

rose
Strange travel suggestions are dancing lessons from god.
Rose
Senior Cadet
 
Posts: 297
Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 4:56 pm

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby E Bronte » Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:33 pm

Hello Andrew,

I am a new member but a long time lurker if you call several months as being a lurker but I do remember what was written in the preface as opposed to what you have said above. You mentioned, "As far as representing "the family" as far as the technology is concerned, yes, in the public domain, I do, as a matter of friendship, and also to pursue my own interests." In my domain, what you have said implies a written agreement exists with some minimal consideration and you act out of friendship with the family to control the technology within the public domain. You also have mentioned that you do pursue these avenues under Qualight Environmental, therefore, and my background is that of a research assistant, if someone developed a device based all upon the work of Dr. Brown from notes derived from an online source, who needs to be contacted, Qualight, you or the Brown family?

I have watched so many individuals here talk of doing so many brilliant ideas that I say to myself, "What if any of these individuals do build something? Who will sue whom over the possible Intellectual rights?

I have seen so much of this occur in my line of work that I felt it necessary to bring it to light and I mean no disrespect, just being practical.

Bye for now,

Em
E Bronte
Space Cadet
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:42 pm
Location: Lake Raystown, PA

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby E Bronte » Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:37 pm

Hello Paul,

Somehow this sentence in the end of the preface doesn't read very well to me.

To enter this Parallel Universe, I have to swallowed the red pill and tossed myself down the rabbit hole.

Reminiscent of cooking stew and tasting it thinking that it needs something.

It may just be me.

Perhaps a touch of sage.

Em
Last edited by E Bronte on Sun Jun 22, 2008 2:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
E Bronte
Space Cadet
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:42 pm
Location: Lake Raystown, PA

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby twigsnapper » Sat Jun 21, 2008 2:45 pm

Or hang on to the thought Paul of the stones skipping across the water, since that seems to be really important to you , as Rose has said ... and see it the way that I think Townsend Brown might see it. The beginning of the movie. A young boy walking along the bank of an Ohio river... selecting flat stones ..... and then tossing them out into the early morning mist. Watching some skip and then finally disappear. Strikes me as a good start for the movie.

Ah, but then ... the book first. twigsnapper
twigsnapper
Revered Elder
 
Posts: 839
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2006 5:25 pm
Location: mobile

Welcome to My World

Postby Paul S. » Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:50 pm

Rose wrote:2. "OMG! 600 pages, with no resolution at the end of it? No way am I going to read this!"


Hah. Reading it is easy. Try writing it.

But it sounds like you really love this section. Maybe instead of giving it up, you could shuffle a version of it into the epilogue?


Yeah, good idea....sorta like waiting for the very last skip, just before the end: "watch....NOW it's gonna disappear...!"

Both points -- the business about the Philpotts quote and the skipping stones metaphor are well taken -- lemme simmer on them.

Thanks,

--PS
Paul Schatzkin
aka "The Perfesser"
"At some point we have to deal with the facts, not what we want to believe is true." -- Jack Bauer
Paul S.
Sr. Rabbit Chaser
 
Posts: 1362
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 1:11 pm
Location: Psych Ward

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby Paul S. » Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:59 pm

twigsnapper wrote: The beginning of the movie. A young boy walking along the bank of an Ohio river... selecting flat stones ..... and then tossing them out into the early morning mist. Watching some skip and then finally disappear. Strikes me as a good start for the movie.


That scene was something I saw in a dream years ago... precisely as you have described.

Wait a second... you haven't already seen the movie, have you???

Ah, but then ... the book first. twigsnapper


Right.

--PS
Paul Schatzkin
aka "The Perfesser"
"At some point we have to deal with the facts, not what we want to believe is true." -- Jack Bauer
Paul S.
Sr. Rabbit Chaser
 
Posts: 1362
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 1:11 pm
Location: Psych Ward

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby greggvizza » Sun Jun 22, 2008 1:47 am

E Bronte wrote:Somehow this sentence in the end of the preface doesn't read very well to me.

To enter this Parallel Universe, I have to swallowed the red pill and tossed myself down the rabbit hole.

Reminiscent of cooking stew and tasting it thinking that it needs something.

It may just be me.

Perhaps a touch of sage.

Em


That same red pill / rabbit hole analogy was also used in the Matrix. It really does describe an exact feeling. What other term could you use to capture the feeling of this moment?

I just re-watched the Matrix a few weeks ago. I hadn’t seen it in quite a few years and it amazed me how similar it was to the things discussed on this forum.

GV
greggvizza
Senior Cadet
 
Posts: 483
Joined: Sat May 06, 2006 3:01 pm

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby Mark Culpepper » Sun Jun 22, 2008 4:32 am

You guys are giving me the shivers again.

Saw that exact scene? Years ago? In a dream? And Twigsnapper calls it something that would have been important to Townsend Brown? And he says its a movie and something really strange tells me that he HAS seen the movie. Wierd. MarkC
Mark Culpepper
The Dean
 
Posts: 655
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2006 6:02 am

Re: "Start Here" -v- "Preface"

Postby Rose » Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:51 am

i love that as a starting scene. I see it followed by a transition to a slightly older boy skinny dipping in the same place and coming out to sun himself on the sand with a fade from that scene to one of uniformed generals and guys in suits traipsing around sand dunes calling "Townsend, Townsend'?" By the time the same, but much older face pops up over a dune, the last of the credits has been shown and the movie is rolling

But first the book....

And what a book it will be!

rose
Strange travel suggestions are dancing lessons from god.
Rose
Senior Cadet
 
Posts: 297
Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 4:56 pm

Next

Return to Defying Gravity: The Second Draft

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest